A Challenge to Husbands

husbands-challengeI am going to be honest with you.

If you know me, I think you can expect that from me in everything I write.

If you are without a wife or significant other, you can skip this post and read something else.

This blog post is just for the married men or those in committed relationships.

Your journey is not a solo journey.

Since you have a life-partner, she is also dealing with the downsides of your struggle whether she knows it or not. If you have spent any money on your credit card pursuing your addiction, there is a huge chance you had to fill her in on your secret. Maybe she caught you before you sought help, or maybe she is the one who found the My Pilgrimage experience for you.

Either way, she is need of some help, and she might not even know it.

I have sat down with numerous couples who are dealing with sexual betrayal because of porn, affairs or things of that nature.  Every woman I have spoken with tells me what her husband needs or should be doing. They don’t want to talk about what they need to be doing.

I understand some of the pushback.

Let’s say you are 400 pounds and your wife weighs 100 pounds. I tell your wife she needs to go to a weight loss camp she is going to tell me I am crazy. She doesn’t have a food addiction or a weight problem, but you do. In that case, she is right but when it deals with sexual betrayal she has been affected in ways that she doesn’t even know, and this is having adverse effects on her and in your relationship, and it won’t just get better once you get through your journey.

 We created Recover.org because we saw this need for over ten years and let me tell you, this program is amazing. 

It is well thought out and designed around the very topics that need to be dealt with but rarely are. Recover is presented by women who have been through it and shared their experiences and healing to offer hope to women just like them.  Think of what the My Pilgrimage program is for you. 

She needs a support system that guides her towards recovery also. You can’t be this for her.

We have this program priced at $499 with three months of small groups, and we include an abundance of helpful resources as a bonus.

Here is the deal.

I want men to lead in their marriage and their families.

I want men to lead when it comes to the hard stuff.

I want men to take responsibility and see what they have done to their spouse or committed partner.

I want men to purchase Recover for their wives. Don’t send them a link. Don’t say “Hey you should check this out.” Buy it for them PERIOD.

 Don’t wait till next week to do this.

Do it today or at least by tomorrow and I will personally give you $300 off.

Watch this video:

Guess what?! We lose money selling it for $199 with three months of small groups. I don’t care at this point. I am getting upset at the number of men who are not owning this and doing anything for their wives. Many women have written in, and they don’t understand why they should have to pay for this. They shouldn’t have to … you should.

This offer is good for today and tomorrow until 8 PM Eastern, and you won’t see it again.  Don’t email me after the deadline because you stalled or didn’t open my email.  This is good today, and tomorrow only (8 PM Eastern).

Simply head to www.recover.org and use the code “CRAIGVIDEO” at checkout when you select the one-time pay button.

I think a lot of you know we have recover.org/retreat as well in San Diego. Some of you need to send your wives here to get the recovery they desperately need. I have three spots left and have a partial scholarship available if needed just email me at craig@xxxchurch.com this week. 

Purchase Recover Now for $199

 

 

 

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8 Reasons My Husband Won’t have Sex with Me

8-reasons-wifeWhen I wrote a blog post called “8 Reasons My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me” I got a lot of great feedback from it and it was viewed over 300,000 times on the first day alone. But one question I kept hearing afterward was: “Could you write one for women and explain to me why my husband won’t have sex with me?

Sure. Sounds easy.

Right?

I asked a few friends for answers, and most of us just scratched our heads. Men who don’t want to have sex? Overwhelmingly, we heard this was the case and women wanted answers.

Now, I don’t speak from experience on this one. I am always up for sex, so I looked for thoughts on this topic from some friends, including Dave Wilson, Adam Palmer, Shaunti Feldhahn, Dave Willis and Jon Kitna.

Just like my first post, this is not a definitive list by any means; I’m putting it out there to hopefully encourage you talk about this stuff with your spouse. If you can be honest and open with your spouse about your sex life, you can often get to the bottom of this without even reading this blog. If you don’t know how to talk to each other, enlist a counselor to help you learn how to communicate.

Before I hit the list, let me offer a couple of statistics:

A recent survey of couples discovered that those who said they were fulfilled sexually had sex on average 2.5 times a week. So that’s something to think about (especially how you can get that 0.5 every week).

According to a 2003 Newsweek study, between 15% and 20% of couples are living in a sexless marriage, defined as making love no more than 10 times a year. While sex is not the be-all, end-all to a marriage, it is definitely one of the best ways to maintain intimacy.

Okay, now let’s look at the list of 8 reasons your husband won’t have sex with you:

1. No  Man Wants To Have Sex With His Mom. This is all about respect.   No man wants to have sex with a wife who is constantly mothering him. If you are always on him, critiquing and complaining about what he does or doesn’t do, then he’d probably rather have sex with himself because he knows you aren’t satisfied with his performance in the bedroom, either. There’s a lot more where that came from.

2. He Doesn’t Feel Wanted. Men want to be wanted. In Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Women Only, 66% of men said it is very important that they feel wanted by their spouse. Getting sex wasn’t enough by itself—just like wives want to be wanted, husbands also want to be wanted.  Your desire for him is a huge foundation that helps him have confidence in his daily life. I also talked about this in the last post a bit, the games couples play with sex about who initiated last time and all that. If there have been times before in your marriage where you have turned him down, then he just might not have the guts to initiate sex out of fear of rejection. I mentioned this last week and said that this was his issue and he needs to lead, but hopefully this helps you understand why he is not wanting sex and it could be he doesn’t want to get rejected again.

3. He’s Dealing With Medical Issues or Depression. It’s very possible your husband has some kind of medical issue or depression that he just doesn’t want to deal with. We men… we tend to be pretty terrible about acknowledging our weaknesses, even when they’re affecting us and making us lose our appetite for sex. As some of you know, I was sick for months this past year. One of the medicines I decided to take (out of the several that were prescribed) knocked me out at nighttime and left me barely able to wake up in the morning. I noticed that if I took this pill before bed, I had no desire for sex and couldn’t even get it up. Yeah. My wife actually laughed when this happend and then I grabbed the bottle from the bathroom and showed her that was a side effect of the medicine. That was the last day on that medicine. Anyway, there are several different issues your husband could be dealing with medically that effect his sex life and drive. It might be time for a trip to the doctor.

4. Flannel Pajamas Suck. Let’s just be honest: guys are visual and if you aren’t putting any effort into what you look like and making the bedroom an incredible place to be, then he might not be turned on. Life happens—aging, pregnancy, illness, weight gain—you’re not going to look the way you did when you two first met. Fortunately, the deeper we love someone, the less importance we place on the exterior and the more we focus on the interior. That said: It doesn’t hurt to put in a little extra effort to look nice for your hubby. Sometimes even a small change can make a big impact, like resisting the urge to put on ratty sweats as soon as you get home, wearing a cute outfit instead of frumpy jeans for a night out, or actually putting on some of the “sexy” lingerie you’ve bought. My friend Shaunti and I are writing a book called Visual, talking about the visual nature of men, and she mentions men’s “visual rolodex” (or to update it: “visual hard drive”) in her book For Women Only. Wives should be the default image on their husband’s visual hard drive, so make a commitment to take care of yourself as best as you can—maybe you’ll inspire your husband and the two of you can work together to get a healthier lifestyle—both physically and emotionally—and make yourselves visually exciting for each other.

(71.3% of men in the U.S are obese or overweight compared to 68% of women. So, guys you got to work on this even more then your wives)

It will pay off big-time when you’re naked in bed with the lights on.

x3-fighting-for-my-marriage-facebook-105. You Pay More Attention To Facebook than to Him. Maybe this is just me, but it seems like most men I know are done with Facebook. If it isn’t Facebook, it will be something else next week but come on, already. The comments, the posts the likes, the shares… put the damn thing down for a bit and connect with the person in your bed. Words with Friends, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and all these other things have crept into our bedrooms and become a distraction. Now, guys are not immune to this problem – in my house it’s ESPN and my “girlfriend” (my wife’s nickname for my laptop), so make an agreement that, after the kids go to bed, you put everything away and try and connect with each other.

6. He’s Getting It Somewhere Else. Studies show that most (not all) guys need sex every three days or less. If you aren’t having sex anywhere close to this frequency, then I would have to wonder where else he is getting it—either through an affair or through porn. Don’t go hiring someone from the television show Cheaters just yet, but do have a frank discussion with him about the possibility. Most guys or gals will lie when confronted as well, so these are not just easy conversations to ask once and just accept it and move on. Dive into this and get to a place of honesty—and don’t be afraid to enlist a trusted counselor for help if you need it. (And if it’s porn, we can help. Here are some resources you can check out to point him to that help.

7. His Walls Are Up. In the same way that wives can put up walls, so can husbands. While men tend to be fairly good at compartmentalizing their needs, it’s still possible for an issue to build up to the point where it creates a wall. It can be a major issue in your relationship or just in your personal life that affects the two of you relationally, spiritually, or physically. It could be your own depression or physical health, or a change in character that has him wondering what’s going on. Whatever it is, look for signals to talk about it, then run toward that conflict and deal with it. It may be hard, but it’s worth it. Talk. Listen. Then listen some more. Own up to anything you might need to take responsibility for, and remember you’re in this together.

8. He’s English and Prefers Gardening to Sex

I hope this helps. I really hate to see married folks not having sex—even terrible sex is better than no sex. And if your sex is terrible, that just means you get to practice more!

Get to work.

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Are enhancements sexy?

I am not sure that enhancement are sexy at all? One of my colleagues here at https://cityofeve.com London escorts service that I work for, has recently had a lot of enhancement work done. It started with a bit of botox for a couple of wrinkles that were irritating between her eyes, but she ended up spending a small fortune on other enhancement work as well. Does she look any better for it? I am not sure that she does at all, and she looks kind of fake.

artistic babes of london escort

The biggest problem with enhancement surgery is that it can make you look rather fake. I did consider having some done, but it felt like I was embarking on a slippery slop. When I visited the surgeon’s office in Harley Street here in London, I felt that he was not really putting me through a consultation as such. It felt more like he was putting me through a sales pitch and it did not give me a lot of confidence. I got the feeling that I would have gone back to London escorts looking like a Barbie doll had I followed all of his recommendations.

Looking like a Barbie doll was the last thing that I would have wanted. A couple of the girls here at the London escorts surgery have got seriously hooked on plastic surgery and I know that they have regretted it. It is not easy to pull back from surgery once you have started to have surgery. If you like, it is a little bit like a vicious cycle that it is very hard to stop. Some procedures may sound like they are minor, but it is those that lead to the major ones. Knowing when to say can be very difficult.

So, are enhancement sexy? Some enhancements can be sexy, but you really need to know when and where to stop. The best thing that you can do is to take a friend with you to the doctors and make sure that you pay attention to what he or she says. It is all too easy to get sold on what the doctor tells and I know that it has happened to many girls here at London escorts. They may think that the procedure will look great, but will it make you look like a real person? That is what you want to be careful of when you arrange that apointment.

On top of that you have the aspect of safety. Any type of surgery can be risky, and you may have a problem afterwards. I had a friend who had enhancement surgery and her breasts in enlarged. The surgeon had to move her nipples to make her breasts look great. A couple of days later she was in the bath, and her nipple floated off. That must have been really scary, and that is not the sort of thing you want to go through. At the moment too many London escorts are having enhancement surgery in my opinion, and it is not making them look any sexier at all.

St Johns Wood on Lonely nights

 

Finally one Friday night I had enough. I think that I had gone as low as you could go, so I picked up my iPad and checked out St Johns Wood escorts. The girls at the agency were real stunners, and I had never seen so many hot blondes. I was more than amazed, and I decided to meet up with a lovely blonde called Sue. Calling the agency was the easy part, getting out of my front door to meet Sue was the really hard part. After some Dutch courage I managed to get my nerves under control, and off I went.

To be honest, I had been worrying about nothing. Sue opened the door with a great big smile on her face, and we soon got chatting. She has a fantastic personality, and was totally open minded. I immediately felt that I could trust her and I was totally comfortable in her company. We chatted for a while, and decided that we liked each other. Since that day, I have been on a few more date with Sue, but I have also met other girls from St Johns Wood escorts. My dates have been real dream dates, and I am beginning to enjoy life again.

Lesson learned, I would tell all gents to check out their local escorts services in London. St Johns Wood escorts from https://charlotteaction.org/st-johns-wood-escorts/ is the nearest service to me, and I love the fact that I can easily pop off to see the girls. To me it feels like the most sensational girls in town are only a phone call away. My Friday nights used be lonely affairs, but all of that has changed. I am now out almost every Friday night, and the local lads are jealous of me. Needless to say I always have a gorgeous girl on my arm.

I am often asked what the worse bit is about living in a big city. Some people say it is all of the noise, but I think it is the loneliness. Before I met St Johns Wood escorts, I was lonely most of the time, and I cannot say that I enjoyed living here in St Johns Wood at all. Moving down to London from Manchester was a massive move for me. I thought it was going to be all exciting, but it wasn’t. Life is about so much more than having a good job, and earning tons of money.

After a couple of months of living in St Johns Wood, I was becoming kind of depressed and wished I had not left Manchester. Fortunately I had become friends with a couple of guys at work and they told me about St Johns Wood escorts. They said that they had been in the same situation as me, and felt totally lonely and lost in St Johns Wood. At first I was a bit embarrassed and I have to admit that it took me a couple of weeks to pick up the phone for the first time. I am sure that a lot of guys have been in the same position as I was at the time.