Change Is Good

I don’t know about you, but I think change is often a good thing. Sometimes even the best thing. I am always looking to change things up and shake up the status quo.

In 2002, we changed things up by launching a website called XXXchurch.com and going to the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo to hand out Bibles.

In 2004, we launched X3watch, the first free accountability software of its kind and challenged people to change the way they do life online.

In 2010, we changed our ministry focus to incorporate recovery tools by releasing X3pure, a 30- day online recovery workshop specifically for those struggling with sex and porn addiction.

In 2012, we changed the way small groups are done by starting X3groups, the first online support based small groups program for men and women who struggle with sex addiction.

In 2014, we revamped our entire website (again).

In late 2015, we changed the way people view addiction and our approach to freedom from it with the introduction of our cutting edge program, My Pilgrimage.

Then in 2016, we changed things up by launching Recover, the first comprehensive resource we ever offered for spouses of those who committed sexual betrayal.

We’ve been busy.

And I’ll be honest, sometimes we’ve changed things too quickly, and it backfired.

But I am the type of guy who always wants to lead out with fresh vision rather than sitting back on my butt just riding out the ordinary or “the way we always have done it.”

Organizations that are willing to change will evolve and grow. Those who don’t embrace change end up closing their doors after a while.

So, that being said, I have another big change I’d like to tell you about.

Like I said, in 2015 we launched My Pilgrimage and kind of got away from X3pure. There were a few reasons for this.

My Pilgrimage was a fresh new take on a topic that we have been addressing for so long and was so excited to develop an additional resource for people.

X3pure was developed by myself and a professional therapist named Steven Luff, which was built on the work that we did for the book Pure Eyes. Our friend Jake Larson did the teaching for the series and was something we were extremely proud of. That is until Jake lost his position as a full-time minister at his church after years of hiding his porn addiction and an extra marital affair.

This was something that I wrestled with the board of directors. Does the fall of Jake Larson disqualify the teachings that he did at his church or for our ministry? It was still helping people, but it never sat right with me.

One day I got an email from a guy watching the X3pure series and said he connected with Jake and then heard about what happened and lost all hope. He said, “If the guy teaching this stuff can’t help himself, how can I ever get free?” That is when I knew we had to do something else.

I decided we must re-launch X3pure, and I was not going to find just a great communicator, but I was going to find someone who I believed in and you could believe in.

Side note:

Years ago I was given the opportunity to be on a national TV show. It was a 10-minute expose on our ministry and my family, and I spent a few days with an amazing reporter who I had seen so many times on TV. He did an incredible piece on our ministry and a year or so later called me and put me on a 30-minute special for the network. We became friends, although we could never talk about it. He always wanted his reporting to be fair and not have anyone think that he was in my corner. I knew he loved the Lord and we often talked about how our worlds were similar. We were one of the hundreds of booths at an Adult Expo who were the only believers in the room, and he was one of fifty reporters in his newsroom and the only believer. He went out on a limb for me, and the night the 30-minute special ran, my phone rang about 10 pm my time, which was 1 am his. He asked me what I thought. I thanked him again and then he said something I will never forget. “If you ever get caught in the middle of an affair or into this porn stuff, I will cut your balls off, hang them on a tree and light them on fire. Send my love to your wife, Jeanette.” And then he hung up.

I get it. There is a lot on the line, and I hear his voice in the back of my head often.

A few months ago, I called Carl Thomas. Carl, I had known for almost eight years now and was the original small group leader of X3groups.com. Not only the original leader but the guy who grew that program for us. He went on to do some things for us with outreach, web and everything else you can think of. I have spent time with Carl’s family, and his wife was on the recover.org project. I called him and asked, “What do you think about teaching the new x3pure series?”

I didn’t talk about lighting his balls on fire on a tree but said I care more about how you live your life than how good you can teach.

Carl has read X3pure workbook and the Pure Eyes books multiple times and has come out of his own crazy story. He also has been leading at least one X3group since day 1. He knows what guys are experiencing and what guys need to hear. He’s from Jersey, so you have to get used to that accent, but there is no B.S. with Carl, and that is where he and I are most alike.

He shoots straight and doesn’t sugar coat it. I am proud to roll out this new project as we have reshot every video and re-wrote the workbook.

The new X3pure is being released on September 12th.

It still follows the same teaching.

But it stresses Freedom VS. Sobriety as the goal. It’s in your face and blunt. It’s practical.

Stay tuned. I’ll keep you posted, but I know that the new X3pure is going to be something like you have never seen before.

Real, honest and down to earth.

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I am all woman

No, I don’t have butt implants. It is the question which I am often asked a couple of times per day. My butt naturally looks like this, and perhaps I inherited my natural butt from my Caribbean grandma. It seems to be one of those things that has been passed down in our family, and my mum has a nice big butt as well. All I have to say that I am glad about my big butt, it seems that many of the gents I meet at London escorts really appreciate it. As a matter of fact, it is probably one of reasons I am so popular here at the escort agency.

Even my boobs are bigger than the average size boobs you will find here at London escorts. They are real as well, and if you have extra big hands, you will really come to appreciate my boobs. The rumour is that I have especially made bras, but it is not true. Just like my butt, my big boobs are something that I have inherited from another family member. Am I proud of them? You bet I am proud of my big boobs, and I love making most of my cleavage photos on the London escorts website.

My hands are just about the right size to make you proud of yourself. You will know that it is my hands as they are always a little bit on the cool side, and I have learned that my gents at London escorts really appreciate that. If you like nice cool hands, you had better give me a call here at the best charlotte action escorts, and I will be along to let you enjoy my nice cool hands with the long red finger nails. Would you like that? I am hoping you will really enjoy it.

What about my legs? They are not bad neither. Actually they are not the longest legs at charlotte action escorts, but they do look really good in a pair of black stockings. If you like, and when you are not in rush, you can follow them all the way up and see what you find up there. But, I like a man who takes it a little bit slow. Some gents are in such a rush these days, and I will admit to that I find that very disappointing. So, if you are not in a rush, I am the girl for you.

I could tell you many more exciting things about me, but I would rather you came and saw for yourself here at London escorts. Setting up a date with me is not something that you want to miss out on, and it is easy as well. Just give the fantastic charlotte action escorts agency a call here in London, and I will be with you before you know it. The beauty of us outcall London escorts, is that we will help you to enjoy a little bit of paradise in your own home. So, if you are up for that, I am happy to be your well endowed girl from London escorts any time day or night.

Should I choose money over love?

During my time at Oxford Circus escorts, I have dated gentlemen from all walks of life. I have enjoyed most of my dates, but it is time for me to move on. Some of the girls stay on with Oxford Circus escorts to become mature escorts, but I am not sure that it is for me at all. I can understand why girls want to do so, but if you have met a nice partner, I think it is about time to leave. Having met a couple of nice guys, I have decided to leave.

oxford circus escort

The only thing I am not sure about is the future of my love life. You see, I have met two guys, and I am not sure which one I should choose. One of the guys is a bit senior but he has tons of money, and says that he would love to spoil me for the rest of my life. He keeps on tempting me with a nice car, and his fantastic country home. It all sounds really nice, and he is a nice man, but I am not in love with him. Neither am I sure if he is in love with me. I have a feeling that I would be his trophy wife, and not that loved.

The other guy I have met at Oxford Circus escorts, is a guy who is a bit younger than the first guy. He is on his early 40’s, and I enjoy spending time with him. It did not take me very long to fall in love with him, and I decided that he might the perfect man for me. We always have something to talk about, and I have this feeling that he is great in bed. It is not exactly the most important thing in the world, but at the moment it matters a lot to me, and I would like it to be part of our relationship.

It is not easy to choose, and other Oxford Circus escorts have had problems with guys they met at the agency. I don’t want to leave and find myself in a relationship crisis. As I had a rather poor childhood, it would be kind of nice to have a guy who has a lot of money. But at the same time, I would like to be loved, love is not something that I have had in my life, and I do miss it a lot. I don’t think that you should miss out on love, and I know that I could get that if I picked the right guy.

Am I going to give up everything? I think that I would like to carry on working. The first guy does not want me to work, but the guy I love very much, does not mind me working at all. I have some ideas about work, and I have even been able to talk to him about it. Yes, it would be nice to have lots of money for the rest of my life, but I would like to be loved as well. I think that I am going choose love over money. If it a ll goes to pot, I can always start again but I do have a lot of confidence in our relationship and I think it would work out on a long term basis.

Want to Help Your Wife Heal? Walk into the Fire.

“He is not doing enough,” exclaimed Susan speaking about her husband Artie who betrayed her with his numerous affairs and pornography use.

Her statement left me a little puzzled since I thought Artie had been doing well in his recovery.

And from what I could see, Artie certainly had been doing everything that was asked of him. So, I asked Susan, “What do you need that he is not doing?”

“I don’t know,” she answered. “But he is not doing enough.”

Then it hit me. “Are you saying he is not doing enough in his recovery or he is not doing enough to help your recovery,” I asked her.”

“It’s always about him,” she said as tears formed in her eyes. “What about me? When does he start to focus on how much I am hurting?”

Susan felt Artie was rushing her recovery and wanted her to “get over it” so they could return to their normal life. What Artie did not understand is they could not return to their former relationship.

In Susan’s eyes that relationship didn’t work. And she was right. There was no going back. The only road to travel – if they were to remain together – was forward.

But Susan’s words left me on a quest to determine if other women dealing with betrayal were experiencing similar feelings. And I soon discovered the answer was yes. Over a period of four months, I asked numerous women if their husbands were doing enough to help them heal and all of them said no.

A woman who has been betrayed wants to know her husband understands the depth of her suffering. More importantly, she wants to believe he will be supportive as she heals and not try to rush her through the process.

A man must realize not only is his wife’s trust destroyed but so is her self-worth has taken a beating.

She believes you desire something more than she can offer.
She wonders what is wrong with her that you sought stimulation elsewhere.

346x396-recover-inline2So the question you must answer is ‘do you truly want to help her heal’ or do you want to continue to wish her pain away?

Because if you want to brush this under the carpet you are in for a long and painful relationship. But if you sincerely want what’s best for her and desire to help her recover from the emotional pain I have a solution for you.

Walk into the Fire.

What does that mean you ask?

Walking into the Fire is when you proactively approach your wife during a time when things seem calm and ask a question similar to this: “I am checking on you and was wondering if you would like to share something that may have troubled you today about the pain I caused you”.

Ouch!

Now you’re thinking to yourself that sounds dangerous. And you’re right. Going to her and asking her to share her pain with you will most likely leave a significant burn.

But it’s the long-term payoff that you’re seeking.

“I took your advice,” said Fred during one of our counseling sessions. “She seemed to be having a good day so I took a chance and ask her what negatives thoughts she was experiencing.

“It started out OK but turned into an inferno pretty quickly,” he continued. “It made me very nervous and I was concerned she would not calm down. However, a couple hours later she came to me saying thank you for being considerate enough to care about what she was feeling. It worked.”

Fred’s wife was appreciative because he demonstrated he was willing to stay with her as she struggled through her pain. This told her he wasn’t trying to pull her along in her recovery and was going to allow her the time she needed to grieve and heal.

It is important to understand when a woman is grieving the betrayal she suffered she is healing. Men need to be patient, understanding, calm and stay present during grieving periods. The guys who learn to do this well are the ones who see their wives recover faster and their marriages restored.

Be smart, start Walking into the Fire.

 

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