Companion from Wembley

When was the last time you enjoyed some sexy company in Wembley from prestigious http://cityofeve.com/wembley-escorts? Most guys come here to Wembley to watch football, but there is a lot more to Wembley than that. I thought I would introduce you to Wembley escorts services, and some of the hot Wembley escorts that date here.

Here in Wembley we have escorts from every corner of the world, but they all have one thing in common. They are steaming hot, and you can always rely on Wembley escorts if you want to have some different fun from watching football. I am sure these ladies can help you to score a goal or two.

Lynda – let me ask you if you like tall blonde Swedish girls who use love to thrill? Well, in that case Lynda is one of those girl and she is probably one of the most stunning ladies that you will find here in London. she is 5 ft 8 and just loves to take those longs and wrap them around you. As a former lady wrestler, she is strong as well and she would love nothing more than to show off her skills. Perhaps she would even like to teach you to wrestle.

However, there is more to Lynda than wrestling. When she is not busy dating or exercising, she runs her own online sex shops. She sells anything from the latest sex toys to lovely lingerie that she has designed herself. Lynda is passionate about lingerie designs but she will only launch a new line when she received the full approval of her dates. Every garment that she designs, she has personally modeled for her gents and only when they say yes will Lynda start production.

Sensuality is always on top of Lynda’s agenda, and unless she can come up with a sensual design that turns gents on, she will not even show it to her girlfriends. Mind you, some gents say that Lynda’s idea of lingerie design can be a bit challenging and that many of them just get to excited when they see it. But then again, I would have thought that sexy lingerie is all about getting excited.

There are many Wembley escorts like Lynda. The girls around here seem to be into all sort of things, and it does not matter if it is lingerie design or sex toys. I even have a friend who works as part of a team of Wembley escorts and she collects pornographic art. I don’t know anybody who can top of that. Her name is Sara and her boudoir is full of porno art from top to bottom. Her boyfriend keeps telling her to sell some but she insists on keeping everything.

Would you like to date a Wembley escort? I am sure that you would just love to date a Wembley escort, and the girls are a delight to be with once you get to know them. Many gents have dated in Wembley for ages and that seems to say that they are happy with their Wembley girls.

 

escort agency

I want my own girlfriend

I would dearly love to have my own girlfriend, but she had to be a very special girl. None of the girls that I have met out and about town recently, have been a patch on my Katja from http://cityofeve.com/ealing-escorts Ealing escorts. She truly is my dream girl in more ways than one. Not a day goes past when I don’t think about Katja, and admire her from a far. I often just bring up her image on my screen and sit there and look at. I dream about all of the things that we have done together, and the many fun things we could do if she was my girlfriend.

Katja is the perfect girl for me. She is a super hot sex kitten that you can play, and really get down to business. At the same time, she is the sweetest girl that I have ever met at Ealing escorts, and I always look forward to seeing her. When we close the door to her boudoir, we get up to all sort of fun things and she just loves to spend time with me, she says. The hottest and sexiest times in my life have been spent with my Katja.

This girl from Ealing escorts is certainly something really different. She dresses like a sex kitten, and just loves to role around on the floor. I have some amazing photos of her when she is laying there looking to pounce like little kittens do. She can be a bit scratchy at times, but that is only part and parcel of her sexy little kitten ways. As a matter of fact, this is part of her personality that really turns me on, and I love that little sensation of danger. Will she scratch me, or won’t she scratch me, with Katja you never know.

She is always dressed to please. I am sure that she would dress exactly as I would tell her to on certain occasions, but I don’t interfere. She is one of those girls at Ealing escorts with a special dress sense anyway, so I never need to remind her of what I like. Every date is perfect, and she meets me at the door all ready to start to play and have some fun. This is just one of the many things that I would like to have in my own personal girlfriend. If I could only find a girl like that…

I know that I am not the only man Katja sees, but I like to think that I am special. I have looked after all of the escorts that I have dated at Ealing escorts but I like to make special fuzz of Katja. The truth is that I spend a fortune on my little kitten, and from what I can tell, she really appreciates. She always wears one of the nice lotions that I have bought, and she is nice and smooth all over, just what I want on my dates with Katja.

Kensington escorts – the hottest girls

As a wine merchant I need to be on the move a lot. It is really difficult to try and form personal relationships when you travel so I have taken to dating escorts. It isn’t necessarily by choice, dating girls have become a necessity as this job can be very stressful. One on hand I have all of the producers and then I have the clients on the other. It isn’t a very easy job at all and can become difficult. Many of my UK based clients are in the Kensington area so when I am here I dated Kensington escorts – they are the hottest of them all.

It is funny but I have dated so many different escorts, but I keep coming back to my Kensington escorts http://cityofeve.com/kensington-escorts. A couple of weeks ago I was in San Fransisco to go into the Napa Valley to buy some wine, and I dated a couple of San Fransisco escorts. Both girls were suppose to be VIP escorts but I can’t say that there was anything VIP about them. To me, they only looked cheap and tarty. VIP or elite escorts are suppose to be classy girls, but one of the girls even turned up to the date in jeans. It was a real eye opener!

I cannot understand why the standards are so different across the world. A few days ago I popped into the local Kensington escorts agency to give a couple of good wine to the owner. He is a nice chap and we get on really well. I sat him down and told him about my experience, and he said that the Americans have a totally unique attitude to escorts. Most of the chaps who use the agency do date abroad sometimes, and they come back with some really odd stories. The owner, Alan, said that the Americans who use the agency are often surprised by the girls here. They often say that they are to sophisticated.

Personally, I would have thought that most gents would like to date sophisticated, sexy ladies. I can’t see the point of going out with girls who are slutty. Most American escorts seem to be sort off cheap, but all of the Kensington escorts who I date, are really classy. I am still mesmerized by the American attitude, and cannot help to wonder what would happen if a British guy run an escorts agency in the United States.

Sometimes I think that I am better if waiting to date escorts until I get back to the UK. At least I can rely on the quality of service from agencies such as Kensington escorts services. You know that you are not going to end up with some silly little tart in a mini skirt who is going to show you up in a restaurant. I do prefer my classy ladies of Kensington. They are never out of place and you can trust that they will know how to act and behave in any situation. It doesn’t matter if we are out or behind closed doors.

5 Characteristics Successful Marriages Have

successful-marriagesPerhaps one of the greatest–and most baffling–questions of all time is, “How can I have a successful marriage?

After sitting down with so many different married couples and listening to their individual journeys (because truly, no two marriages anywhere on the planet are ever the same!), I’ve discovered that, before any marriage can be healthy, happy, and fulfilling, both spouses must understand what a biblically-based marriage is.

Scripture compels believers to enter into marital covenant. And although that should be synonymous, with marriage, unfortunately, for many, it’s not.

So the short answer to the question is “The way to have a successful marriage is to know that God desires husbands and wives to honor marital covenant.” One author on marital covenant explains what that is this way: “A covenant is intended by God to be a lifelong fruitful relationship between a man and a woman. Marriage is a vow to God, to each other, our families and our community to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation, and sexual purity, while purposefully growing in our covenant marriage relationship.”

Yep. Now let’s look a bit deeper. Here are 5 characteristics successful marriages have:

1) A true understanding of what marital covenant is. When I sit in premarital counseling sessions, there are two things I bring up before anything else: what the Bible says about divorce and what the Bible says about sex. Marital covenant does not consist of a boyfriend and a girlfriend who stay together until they are irritated, bored, or simply ready to move on to someone else–it consists of two people coming together as one (Genesis 2:24-25). Who cuts off their arm when it hurts them? Who doesn’t take care of their leg when it’s sore? Your partner is a part of you. People who view marriage as a covenant see their husband or wife as basically a limb.

Marital covenant is not just a relationship–it is the true essence of oneness. (Tweet This!)

2) A true understanding that God is the most important part of marriage. One of my favorite scriptures about marriage is, “Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.” (Matthew 19:6, MSG) Marriage is truly a work of art, and God is the Artist. The Inventor. The Creator. It’s the only relationship that speaks directly to God being all up in it!

Unfortunately, sometimes when marriage gets hard, couples look too much to one another rather than to the Creator. Two flawed people can’t make a marriage work. (Tweet This!) But two people who put God and what he desires for them and their marriage, two people who know they can’t stay married doing it on their own but they can with God at the helm? They are well on their way to being more than just “successful,” but a mind-blowing example of God’s miraculous love and power!

3) A solid friendship. Whenever couples come to me in serious trouble, I don’t ask them, “So, are you still in love?” No, what I want to know is, “Do you still like one another?” Ecclesiastes 4 speaks of the value of friendship; that both people can help one another, yes, even when they fall. When your spouse is your absolute best friend, when you’re being ever-conscious about that being the foundation of your marriage, then how can you just…end things with the person who is closest to you? The one you tell your secrets to? The one who knows all about you? The one who is there for the roller coaster ride? If more couples worked on their friendship, I truly believe the marriage would take care of itself.

4) A consistent sex life. Did you know that 15-20% of couples are considered to be sexless (having sex less than 10 times per year)? Sex is a gift for married people, but you know what? It’s also a responsibility. It’s not a “perk.” It’s a staple. And let’s not forget what I Corinthians 7:5 (NLT) says that going without sex can do to a relationship: “…you should come together…so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” In fact, let’s jump up a couple of verses: “But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.” (I Corinthians 7:2-NLT)

Sex is fun and pleasurable but more than anything, it is purposeful. (Tweet This!) It is a physical act that represents spiritual oneness. And, it’s also a form of spiritual protection from the Enemy too. A successful marriage doesn’t “fit sex in”–it makes sex a top priority.

5) A counselor on call. Proverbs 12:15 says that “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise” and Proverbs 24:6 says that in counsel, there is safety. These two verses alone speak to the importance of marriage counseling.

But here’s the thing: Don’t wait until you are ready to move out or sign divorce papers before seeing one!

A car needs an oil change every three months. Married couples could benefit from “getting their temperature taken” (or as I call it “checking for mouse holes”), at least a couple of times a year, too. It helps to improve communication. It helps to understand mutual needs. It helps for both people to see how far they’ve come–and where they want to go. A successful marriage is about being proactive rather than reactive. Marriage counseling is a big part of that!

I’m praying for each and every spouse reading this.

A healthy marriage is possible.

With God, all things are!


 

Logo-Married-Event-new-size-Kajabi-v2If you are married and looking for ways to salvage, improve, or supercharge your marriage and marital satisfaction then check out Married. This online experience is just for married couples and features a ton of great teaching and insight from experts like Dave and Ashely Willis, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, and Craig and Jeanette Gross.

Check out married now!

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Paradise With My Man

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could spend more time on the beach? I love the beach, and I get severe withdrawal symptoms when I am away from the beach. Of course, there are no beaches in London, and so called Lidos where you can go swimming. Needless to say they don’t come close to a tropical beach. Ever couple of months I try to get some time off from my cheap escorts agency, and disappear of to the beach. I like to work for this amazing cheap escorts company, but I do need to spend some time with the man of my dreams as well.

You may be wondering who is the man of my dreams? The truth is that the man of my dreams is a 5 year old boy called Tony. My ex boyfriend and I managed to produce this lovely little boy before we split up. Tony loves tropical beaches as much as I do, and we spend hours playing in the surf together. For me, it is serious down time with Tony. During the week when I work for London escorts, I don’t always get as much time as I like with Tony. This is why it is so important for me to escape from London escorts to an exotic beach.

Without cheap escorts services I would not be able to afford to escape to the beach with Tony. Most jobs in London would not pay as well, and I just love to be able to take us away. When I am away from London escorts services with Tony, I am a totally different person. We stay in a luxury cottage on the beach, and I spend my day in shorts or a bikini. We play games on the beach, or just go snorkeling. Tony is already a fantastic swimmer, and would be on the beach every day if he could.

The fact is that I would love to have enough money to leave London escorts, and go and live on the beach. This would just be paradise to me, but I don’t know where. The problem is that Tony and I love all sorts of beaches. Paradise to us can be in Cornwall, the Maldives or Thailand. Our most recent holiday was to Cornwall, and we loved it. There were so many things to do, and we rented the cutest cottage. I would love to live in Cornwall when I retire from London escorts.

Moving to Cornwall would be the perfect new start for me and Tony. I am not so sure what I would do after leaving London escorts, but I am sure that I can find some little home based business to run. Who knows, I might even be able to set up my own company online. That would give me a chance to look after Tony, and to spend time on the beach as well. Cornwall is an amazing place, and I love things like the local wild life. It is not as warm as the Maldives, but there are so many exciting places to explore.

3 Lessons I Learned Instantly In My First Week of Marriage

lessons-for-marriageThey say everyone gets a honeymoon period at the start of your marriage, but whoever brandished that idea: I want a refund.

Marriage is hard work right out of the gate. Our sentimental ideas about romance get tossed out very, very quickly — and I want you to be ready. Everyone told me what to expect, but no matter how much you prepare, it’s still a jump into the deep end. The more you know about what’s coming, the more quickly you can stand on your two feet.

I know that marriage isn’t for everyone (contrary to our culture, singleness is not an illness), but whether you’re not in the dating scene or you’ve been married for years, here are three things I learned instantly in the first week of marriage. These lessons could be valuable and necessary for our entire journey.

1) Marriage pulls down the hologram and brings about the gritty reality of your spouse (and yourself too).

My wife and I dated for six years before we were married, and in those six years, I had never heard her pass gas once. I would constantly tell her that it was okay, but my wife was dead-set on maintaining an air of elegance. No pun intended.

About four days into the marriage, on a wonderful crisp morning in Florida, I asked my wife, “Are you boiling eggs?

She said, “No. I’m not boiling eggs.”

Are the sprinklers on outside?

No. The sprinklers are not on.”

But then what’s that sme—

And it hit me. Pun intended.

(By the way, I have my wife’s permission to share this story. I’m proud to say that she now regularly passes gas around me with the most exuberant freedom.)

In dating, we’re often on our best behavior. It’s like a job interview, where both sides show off their impressive benefits and credentials. In marriage, you see the rough, raw edges of the entire person. Marriage creates perhaps the closest proximity you will ever have with another human being. You’ll see every insecurity and neurotic tendency. There will be friction.

This is more than just about keeping up a pretty image. It’s also a way of learning how to love an entire person and not just the parts that you like.

In Timothy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage, he discusses how we each have fault lines in our hearts, like the cracks of a great bridge. These fault lines get exposed when we collide with another person, so that we spill anger or jealousy or anxiety. A married couple, because they’re so close in space, will inevitably drive a truck through each other’s hearts: which exposes all the fault lines. Deep-seated flaws will shake out of us like shaking a tree in the autumn. It’s in this exposure that we can choose to face our flaws, so that they would be re-shaped by the love we share. The sooner, the better.

You’ll also see every dream, hope, talent, passion, and ambition in your spouse. You’ll see what lights them up and gets them excited. This means that marriage is often about showing grace for your spouse’s worst and promoting their very best. Love sees a greatness in someone who cannot see it in themselves. (Tweet This!) And if marriage is one of the most intimate unions in the universe, then it has the power to encourage a person beyond their self-imposed limits. Though this can happen in many types of relationships, marriage offers a profound intensity to spiritual growth. Finally, we can switch off our holograms of who pretend to be, and actually become the people we were meant to be.

2) Marriage means your stuff isn’t your stuff anymore.

In our first week, we didn’t fly off to the honeymoon, which was another two weeks away. We spent time unpacking, opening wedding gifts, frolicking in our new home, and merging our lives together. About five days in, I wanted to meet up a friend to hang out, one of the groomsmen in the wedding.

I neglected to tell this to my wife. This is one of those very obvious things that I should’ve knew from the get-go, but in my defense, I’m an idiot.

Marriage is about Two-As-One, as We instead of Me. My time was no longer my own. It was our time. Our things. Our bank account. Our bed. Again, this sounds obvious, but I’ve spoken with so many singles and unmarried couples who were dismayed at the idea of splitting a life in half. No one is quite prepared to completely surrender unilateral decisions. We quickly learn why Apostle Paul compared our relationship with God to the marriage union — because we are entrusting our will with another.

The wonderful advantage is that rather than “splitting in half,” it actually feels more like a merging of strength. Our individual abilities can make up for each other’s weaknesses. Our knowledge and our view on life is suddenly augmented with an entirely new angle. By the end of the week, I was figuring out what she would want and why, which helped my tiny brain to open to new avenues I had never considered.

While both dating and engagement can offer the benefit of unified minds, the promise of marriage solidifies an active undercurrent of cooperation. There’s now a lifelong goal: for the health of the couple, and not what works for “me,” but for We. What works for you as an individual might be good, but what works for the couple turns out to be great. It’s not half plus half, nor is it one plus one; instead, the grace and synergy of marriage equate to an exponential growth of each other’s hearts.

3) Marriage means there’s nowhere to run except towards each other.

Our first argument in the first week was different from any argument we’d ever had.

When we were dating, our conflicts were always able to be delayed. A few days of separation could cool us off. The problems might come back, but a little bit of distance smoothed things over. We could just bury it and move on.

Now we have no such apparatus.

No buffer, no denial, no escape.

We could either go to bed angry or we could wrestle our exposed demons all the way to resolution.

For those who are more likely to avoid confrontation, this proves extremely troubling. If you’re like me and you absolutely need to resolve things on the spot, it can still prove difficult, because you’ll end up defending yourself in the most tone-deaf ways possible. It’s all rather very embarrassing when we realize how bad we are at the Rules of Engagement.

We had to figure out a system. We had to know what words we would never, ever use. If we were going to fight, we would have to fight fair, with no low blows and no dragging up the past against each other. None of this is a perfect process. The initial start of a conflict will never be smooth; our first reactions are always emotional because it feels like your own value is at stake.

It’s in these moments that my wife and I had to learn to seek an end-point to our arguments. The beginning would always be rough, but with enough humility and self-awareness, we could run toward intimacy instead of toward an exit. (Tweet This!) This kind of spousal love is not only a means to an end, but the end itself.

We’ve discovered that when confrontation has a direction, it’s always an opportunity to grow.

And if a guy like me can learn these things, then I guarantee you: we all can.

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Here’s Why Men And Women Don’t See Eye To Eye

eye-to-eyeAs men and women our goal is to make our relationships with each other (especially marriages) as enriching as possible.

But a common challenge we all face in making that happen is a mutual lack of understanding about how each other views and processes the world around us.

This is why you probably have heard the saying, “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.”

The way men and women see the world impacts everything they do. (Tweet This!)

It impacts their communication.
It impacts how they deal with conflict.
It impacts how they handle stress and temptation.

Your relationships are incredibly valuable so it’s critical you understand each other. (Tweet This!)

Watch this video from a recent talk I gave with my friend, co-author of the book Through A Man’s Eyes, and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn.

In this video we specifically talk about how men process their world visually and the unique temptations they face at the hands of a hyper-sexualized culture.

Please STOP and invest 40 minutes in your relationship by watching this video.

You’ll be encouraged AND pick up some very subtle yet brilliant insight.

 

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Why A Mistake In This Technology Age Can Cost You Everything

mistake-1In the war between the world and sex, sex is the undisputed champ. (Tweet This!) And sex seems to be winning, especially when it comes to some of the head-scratching laws our country has designed around it.

I’ve seen a few headlines lately that really have me wondering what is going on when it comes to sex, adults, kids, and technology. We have to do something about our laws to protect our kids.

You may have heard the news recently that Jared Fogle, the now-former spokesman for Subway, is being investigated (allegedly) for child pornography. But before all that, he allegedly had sex with a 16-year-old girl and then attempted to pimp her out on Craigslist. But here’s what’s crazy to me—an old guy like Jared having sex with a 16-year-old is perfectly legal in Indiana. It’s the money and the Craigslist part that’s adding to his legal troubles, not the sex-with-a-child part.

Or what about this story, about famous and wealthy rapper Tyga, a 25-year-old, buying a Ferrari for his (presumed) girlfriend Kylie Jenner for her 18th birthday. Now, set aside the acceptability of buying a car that costs several hundred grand; why is no one pointing out that Tyga was, up until a few days ago, dating a child? (Tweet This!)

One more story that really brought this home to us here at X3church. We recently received an email from a concerned parent. This parent has a 20-year-old son who used a supposed 18-and-over chat room on Kik to talk with two young women; after a series of back-and-forth conversations over a few day, he asked for images. They sent 29 photographs and videos, and only then did he discover they were 15 and 16 years old. He is now facing life in prison on 29 counts of possession of child pornography.

The more our society progresses, the more it sometimes stays the same. Young people are still going to attract the sexual attention of others, and sometimes that attention will be unwanted or even illegal, but our laws are wacked out and are not reliable. (Tweet This!)

So how can we as parents keep our kids safe?

For starters, we have to understand the law. Depending on what state you live in, “sexting” is just as much of an offense as actual child pornography. Whether you think that makes sense or not (and I don’t), it’s possible that’s the law where you live. That means that, if your 17-year-old sends a sexually explicit photograph of themselves to their boyfriend or girlfriend, then they’ve participated in the transmission child pornography and could be doing time.

Your kids are growing up in a different world than the one you did. That’s just the fact of the matter. It’s up to you to educate yourself and to understand that the laws are all over the place, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Teach your kids that nothing they do online can ever truly be deleted, and that they can’t always trust their peers with sensitive images or videos. (For more information on parenting your kids through today’s technology, check out our sister site iParent.TV.)

Beyond that, you just can’t police people’s actions and expect change; it requires a change at the heart level. Though our society’s laws about child porn need to catch up to technology, no law is going to change anyone’s heart. Jared and Tyga won’t be litigated into normalcy. Only God can do that.


touchy-subjects-workshop-resourceFor more information and practical advice on raising your children in a tech saturated world, check out the Touchy Subjects video workshop for parents. Practical teaching. Sound advice. Straight talk from two dads who’s been there.

Learn How To Talk To Your Kids About Touchy Subjects

 

 

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3 Things to Do When Your Wife Dresses Too Sexy

wife-dresses-too-sexyAbout six months ago, I was hanging out with a couple that I happen to really like a lot. As we were talking about different ways to protect a marital union, the conversation turned to wardrobe.

They were sitting on the couch across from me, and the wife had on some super-short shorts. Think Jessica Simpson in the horrific remake of Dukes of Hazard pair of denim cut-offs. Nah…shorter than even that, actually. When I asked the husband if he would be cool with male company coming over and seeing his wife dressed that way, he said, “Yes,” and then took it a step further and said “If they end up feeling some kind of way, that’s their lust problem, not ours.”

What was even more interesting is that the wife said “Is what I’m wearing too sexy? I’ve had a few people talk to me about that lately.”

 Too sexy. It’s kind of a hard call to determine what that actually is. Muslims and Orthodox Jews would say that a whole lot of us are looking crazy out here in a simple pair of jeans and a graphic tee. But if you were to ask me what I think it is, it’s when a wife is dressed in such a way to where her husband feels as if what is reserved especially for him (I Corinthians 7:3) is something all of us get a sneak peek at. And it’s also the attitude that the wife carries in her clothing as well.

So, if you’re a husband reading this and you personally feel like your wife dresses too sexy and in a way that, while it may not make you jealous and insecure (that may be your hang-up), doesn’t send the message that she’s already committed to someone, then here are three productive, effective, and non-offensive or caveman-like things that you can do:

1) Have a sensitive conversation with her.

I just had a conversation over the weekend with a male friend of mine who admits that he has a tendency (which I prefer to see as a “bad habit”) of holding things in until he snaps. By then, he just comes off as a jerk (a nice version of the word I’m really thinking), and it only causes me to go onto the defensive.

If you’re uncomfortable with how your wife dresses, first think about if you married her with that wardrobe. If you did, what’s your issue now? That’s certainly something worth pondering on your own before bringing it up.

Secondly, don’t come at her like a parent. No healthy and sane wife wants to sleep with her father (Tweet This!) (George Michael’s song “Father Figure” always creeped me out). You don’t have the right to tell her what she can or cannot wear. But as her husband, you do have God’s permission to bring up how you feel, to state your reasons behind it and to work towards a happy medium. A compromise (I Peter 3:7). Oh, and you might want to throw some “I feel…” statements in. You know like “I feel like my feelings aren’t being taken into consideration with some of the things that you wear.” We tend to resonate with that type of phrasing as opposed to “When are you gonna stop wearing that hoochie crap?” (See the difference?)

 2) Take her shopping.

If you’re a woman checking this out, raise your hand if the thought of going shopping for a new outfit repulses you. No one? Okay, so that’s the confirmation that I need to make this point.

Something that is helpful, romantic, and even a little sexy is when a husband decides to go clothing-rather-than-grocery shopping with his wife. This doesn’t mean you walk around hemming and hawing or dictating what she should or should not purchase; it means that one day, you decide to spontaneously say “You want to get a new dress today? Let’s go!” By participating in the shopping process, she’ll not only feel more connected to you, but also to your opinions.

3) Affirm her. Often.

From the beginning of time, we see that affirmations within a marriage are extremely important. And necessary. After all, what is it that Adam said? “You are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23), right? He was letting the Woman know that she was a part of him.

Look, some women dress super-sexy simply because they like to. But there are others who do it because it gets them a certain amount of attention that they so desperately crave. The more you tell your wife how beautiful she is, how much you love her body and also how smart, funny, and special she is to you, you might be surprised by how the clothing—and attitude—starts to shift a bit. Why? Because she knows that her husband is her biggest fan. This means that there’s no need to draw in any other kind of audience.


Check out Craig Gross and Shaunti Feldhahn’s new book Through A Man’s Eyes for a more in depth discussion on this topic and to learn more about the visual nature of men . Get the book HERE and learn more about the workshop HERE.

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Husbands, It’s Okay To Be Attracted To Images Of Other Women

its-ok-to-be-attracted-to-images-of-womenWithin days of releasing For Women Only, based on my research study of the inner lives of men, my husband Jeff told me it was all his male buddies wanted to talk about. Not because their wives could finally understand them… but because they could finally understand themselves.

The most popular topic of discussion? The “Visual” chapter, where I explained that even the most honorable, happily-married men are confronted every day in this culture by dozens of attractive, sexualized images of other women that they don’t want to have rattling around in their brains. They have to spend time and effort tearing down those images and taking those thoughts captive. And it can be exhausting.

The reaction from some of Jeff’s friends? Immense, explosive relief.

I was really confused, but Jeff explained:

Guys don’t generally sit around and talk about this kind of internal stuff the way women do, so how would they know that other guys are the same as they are? It’s not like you sit around at Starbucks going, “You got images?” “Yep, I got images.”

So some guys have been feeling shame for years because they thought that the temptation itself meant that they were failing and sinful. (Tweet This!) It is a relief for a man to know that just having an image pop into his head doesn’t mean he’s a failure. For him to know that “Yeah, I don’t like that it confronts me, but what matters is what I do next.”

In the years since that conversation, my research has continued and I’ve heard Jeff’s point of view from many other men I’ve interviewed. Now, just to be clear: I’m talking here about men being attracted by an image, not being attracted to another woman as a person — as in, that female colleague at the office. Further, what I’m discussing here only applies to men who are generally making the right choices and are trying as best they can to keep their thought lives pure.

But there are way too many of these honorable men – truly good guys – who have been feeling shame (or made to feel shame) because they instinctively want to look at the hot woman at the grocery store who is falling out of her top. They feel a gut-level desire to savor the sight of the lithe twenty-something at the gym who is showing off all of her assets. The type of man I’m talking about will generally try to wrench his head away… but deep down inside, there’s a part of him that would rather look.

Guys, is that you?
Ladies, does this describe your husband?

It’s important to say this: it is normal to be attracted to an attractive image. (Tweet This!) There is literally nothing wrong with that part of it. In fact, a man’s brain is so hard-wired for visual processing that it is almost impossible for a man to not find that image appealing. I would argue, in fact, that his brain is functioning in precisely the way God designed.

However.

It is even more important to emphasize this: being attracted to an image and doing something about it – such as a lingering look or thought about that other woman — are two very, very different things. In the Bible, God clearly says that a man must not allow himself to take that lingering look. He must not allow his thoughts to go in a lustful direction. Those go beyond “attraction” and into “action.” And the actions of lust, in God’s economy, equal a heart of adultery. (Tweet This!)

Yes, it is normal to want to look – but the only time a man can indulge that desire is when he is with his wife.

There’s no way to know this for sure, but I think God designed the male brain to be attracted to an attractive image on purpose – and that that purpose was to bond a man to his wife. Remember, Adam’s first words when he saw Eve were essentially, “Hubba, hubba.” I’ve been investigating this topic for years as Craig Gross and I have been writing our new, more in-depth book on this topic, Through A Man’s Eyes, and neuroscientists have found that the visual male brain wiring has a direct tie to a man’s emotional connection to his wife.

Guys, your visual temptations are not abnormal. (Tweet This!) They are challenging, and you all have told me that you wish you didn’t have them. But you need to know that they exist for most men in this culture.

The key, of course, is what you do about it.

As a woman who understands this topic, I want to thank those of you who are making those right choices every difficult day. You are trying as best you can to live pure, in an impure culture. There is no way to express how much that means to me as a woman, and – most importantly — to the woman in your life.

And to the men who perhaps haven’t been making the rigorous choice to keep your thoughts for your wife: can I challenge you?

Please. Step up to the high calling that God has for you.
Make the godly choices.

If you need help to do so, get it. Rigorously reserve those thoughts and actions, for your wife (or future wife). Because when you are home with your wife, the attraction and the action are, finally, allowed to be one and the same.


For more information on Craig Gross and Shaunti Feldhahn’s latest book and workshop watch this video.

Shaunti Feldhahn is a groundbreaking social researcher, popular speaker and the best-selling author of many books, including For Women Only and For Men Only. In her latest book, Through A Man’s Eyes, Shaunti has teamed up with Craig Gross, the founder of XXXchurch.com, to open women’s eyes to the visual nature of men and what it means for a husband, boyfriend or son. See menarevisual.com or shaunti.com for more.

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