3 Tips for Struggling Honeymooners

Honeymoons seem to be both the most precious but underwhelming experience of married life.

From my own experience, and countless stories I’ve heard, there’s something deeply sacred about beginning a marriage, but the actual honeymoon experience can be somewhat disheartening.

Sharing space and sex with another human often isn’t what young couples expect, and it’s just not as simple as the movies or porn make it look. Orgasms may be few and far between, maybe the bedsheets get messier than anticipated, issues of lower and higher sex drive arise, or perhaps your partner’s body looks surprisingly different to anything you’ve seen online.

There’s a whole host of reasons couples struggle on their honeymoon.

The first weeks of marital intimacy can be pretty underwhelming. And that’s perfectly fine.

If any of this feels familiar to you, or you’re on some tropical island with your bae right now googling ‘honeymoon sex is hard help’, continue reading for three simple pieces of advice that can help you have the best honeymoon experience you can.

If the honeymoon is over, you can still use these to encourage and heal your growing intimacy.

Remember, You’re New at This

One of the most comforting things my new husband said to me one night was, “Hey, we’re new at this!”

It was the dose of perspective my disheartened soul needed. Somehow, I expected to be a pro at sex immediately. I anticipated we’d be having hot, steamy relations just like in the movies, and just how all the church leaders told us we would (if we waited).

Instead, it was a little awkward, and honestly just exhausting! The pressure we had put on ourselves and each other was unhealthy. Being reminded we had only experienced sex for the very first time four days ago was a reality check for us both.

You wouldn’t expect to be a pro skater the first time you stepped on a board, right? So why do we expect perfection on the honeymoon?

It’s okay to be new. It’s okay to fumble and ask questions. Relax into that reality and take the pressure off. It will make your honeymoon and sexploration much more enjoyable. And trust me, with practice, it gets so much better!

Slow Down

Slow. Slow. Slow. Everything is better slow. I can speak for the women on this one. Guys, please don’t crash tackle your bride, remove her clothes and proceed to jack hammer her like you’re on some naked construction site. Life isn’t porn, and doing this will reduce your wife’s enjoyment by one thousand percent. Take everything slow and steady, and when you feel you’re going slow enough, slow down some more. Take in every touch and moment. There’s no need to rush. Ladies, take your time with him, too.

There will be times of rushed and exciting sex in life, but a lot of the time, slow sex is good sex.

Do Something Else

Much to many newly married couples dismay, you can’t just have sex for two weeks straight. Someone’s going to get a UTI or some serious chafing.

Make sure you allow space for sex, but also book in fun activities and adventures. Take some books, DVDs, and board games with you. This will greatly decrease boredom and disappointment. By planning ahead, you won’t find yourselves sitting on the lounge wondering what to do now your bits are worn out from hourly sex. It will also give you a break from any stress you may be feeling in the bedroom. Doing something else for a while gives you the chance to relax, have fun, and come back to bed with a fresh mindset.

Depending on your family dynamics and personality, you may need some space, too. Introverts recharge both mentally and physically by being alone. Due to the nature of marriage, many introverts can ‘recharge’ and reflect in the presence of their spouse. They don’t require total solitude. They may need some time where they’re not required to engage, however. Discuss your partner’s individual needs, and figure out what that looks like for them. It may simply look like watching a movie while they read a book or go for a walk.

You’re not going to just have sex on the honeymoon, and that’s okay. Don’t fret if you just want to relax and read a book.

Pray

Invite God into your sex life. Sounds weird, but it’s worth it. God invented sex. He created the nerve endings, wobbly bits, and sensitive areas that we so enjoy! Get into the habit of praying over your marriage and sex life early on. It may feel redundant but he can do powerful things. He can heal, bring empathy, insight and wisdom to you both.

Further Support

There are some cases where either partner may experience sexual dysfunction caused by trauma, pornography, negative attitudes to sex, health, or unknown causes. These can cause pain and distress, and put a stop to further sex. If unanticipated, issues like these can be very distressing for a young couple. The statements above are aimed at couples who are facing issues of expectation and lack of experience, but they can help a couple in this situation, too. However, further support is needed.

Ensure you seek medical or therapeutic treatment for these issues, and communicate with your spouse. It may not be possible to have sex on the honeymoon. There is support and healing for you both, though. Please don’t keep this a secret.

If you are concerned about the potential of these issues, or experience sexual anxiety, book a check-up with your doctor before getting married, talk to mentors, and start investigating resources to prepare you for a life of marital intimacy.

No matter your honeymoon experience, these three pieces of advice have the power to provide perspective, hope, and healing as you venture into this new world of marriage and sex. Enjoy!

 

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The Way to Get Back Together With Your Ex: Angel Escorts

Is getting back your ex the one thing you think about at the moment? In that case, you seem like you went through a particularly nasty breakup. Breakups negatively impact every facet of your life. Your college life, home life, and work life all seem to lose their significance, at least for a short time. Is there a way to reunite with the ex who made your life so fulfilling before? Among the things you will need to do before answering that question is just to stop and have a breather said by the girls from Angel Escorts of https://charlotteaction.org/angel-escorts. When a terrible breakup tears your world apart, you will need the time to get over the shock of it. One thing that occurs after you break up is that you forget all the bad things and fixate on the great times you had together. Breakups have the effect of creating your ex-seem perfect, and you will do just about anything to get them back. Getting back your ex-seems like the only thing you can do to be happy. But with a little time, you will gain your objectivity, again and again, be able to see that your ex for all that they are. Everybody brings good and bad qualities into a connection, after all. In case you’ve taken some time to look at the breakup and still feel that getting back your ex is something you will need to do, then it is time to determine how to speak to your ex again said by the girls from Angel Escorts. Every individual and every situation differs, so think about what would work best for your ex. Would they rather hear from you on the telephone, by email, text message, a written letter, or a trip to their house? Consider what your ex would want from you and plan what to say. You need to be friendly and establish a fantastic conversation. There might be some hurt feelings left over from the breakup so be ready to manage these. Talk about whatever comes up gently and sensitively. Under no conditions allow your conversation to turn into a struggle! If you understand that the conversation is just going to become a session of rehashing everything that went wrong in your relationship back off and give it more time before you attempt to get in touch with your ex again. After you can both have a mature, friendly dialogue with each other, you’ll be ready to begin on the road to getting back your ex. Be honest and open with your feelings, and ask your ex if there may be a chance of being a couple again. Do not insist that they reply right now — for all you know, your calling them completely by surprise, and they might be at a complete loss for words. They’ll have to consider the things you’ve mentioned before making a choice. Just pose the question and give them space to consider it by themselves. This is the trick to getting back your ex.

1 Simple Way Men Can Supercharge Their Sex Lives

I rarely use my emergency brake. It’s mostly flat where I live along the coast. Sea level, for the most part, is level. But every once in awhile, for some inexplicable reason, I’ll park my car and depress the emergency brake pedal — shove that baby to the floor!

You can already guess what’s coming. I return to my car a few hours later and forget to release the brake. I turn the key, throw it into drive, and lurch forward in fits and starts wondering, “What the hell…is wrong…with my car?!”

If you’ve ever felt that way about your marriage, like there’s an invisible force impeding your progress, this post might help.

Embrace Your Inner Detective

Imagine you and your wife are driving from L.A. to Vegas for the weekend. Or from New England to North Carolina for a family reunion. An hour into the trip she asks, “Do you need to stop and use the restroom?” You don’t, of course, because you didn’t drink an extra-large iced green tea latte during the first 10 minutes of the trip, so you answer, “No. I’m good.”

Big mistake. Here’s why:

Women don’t typically come out and say what they want. After all, what’s romantic about that? “I need to pee. Pull over.” Boring. Any robot can issue an order.

Instead, they give us clues and expect us to do some digging in order to uncover what they want. They drop a few crumbs to see if we care enough to follow the trail.

So then, her question is never really a question, but a hint. Say this out loud if it helps: “Her clues are my cues.” No, not to throw your hands up in frustration, but to don your deerstalker and begin playing detective. It’s about to get fun! Remember, the trail always leads to the treasure.

Here’s a sample Sherlock-worthy response to her question-that’s-not-really-a-question, “Do you need to stop and use the restroom?”

x3-fighting-for-my-marriage-facebook-10YOU: “Well, we’ve been on the road for a few hours now. How are you feeling, babe? Do you need to use the restroom?”

HER: “Mmm, I don’t know.”

YOU: “It looks like you’ve finished your green tea latte. Would you like me to pull over at the next rest stop?”

HER: “I think I’ll be OK.”

[Pause briefly for dramatic effect]

YOU: “You know, I think stopping is a good idea. I’d like to stretch my legs. Plus, we’ve got 30-40 miles of desert ahead of us before the next town. We should probably refuel just to be
safe. And we’re probably both ready for a bathroom break.”

HER: “OK, honey.”

When she reaches across the console for your hand and gives it a little squeeze, it’s much more than a little squeeze. It’s her way of saying, “I feel loved right now. I feel cared for. I feel lucky to have you.” She’s dancing on the inside.

She’d turn on some music and dance on the outside too, right there in her seat, if she didn’t have to pee so bad.

The treasure — in case you were wondering — is her. It’s her heart. It’s her feeling loved. It’s her feeling connected to you. It’s her knowing she’s your #1 priority. These are the headwaters for a strong and sexy marriage.

Latin for “Dumb”

Standard-issue marriage advice to women says, “Your husband’s not a mind reader. Tell him what you want.”

“Yeah!” shout all the men within earshot, “We’re not mind readers! Just tell us what you want! Don’t make it so complicated! Don’t make us have to work so hard!”

Here’s the problem: While it sounds reasonable to the logical hemisphere of your brain — it bounces off hers.

When you say, “I’m not a mind reader, just tell me what you want,” she hears: “I’ve already won your heart. I’ve already cracked the code. The chase is over. I’m done breaking a sweat for you. Sorry, but you’re not that interesting anymore. Get used to me taking you for granted. Get used to a marriage that’s dull and predictable.”

Or, even worse: “Can’t you be more like my guy friends? More rational. More linear. Less nuanced. Less mysterious. I just wish you’d stop acting like such a woman.”

And you wonder why she’s hardly ever in the mood.

All this time — unbeknownst to you — you’ve been insisting that your wife tone down her sex appeal. Be less amorous. The word “sensual” comes from the Latin “sensualis,” meaning, “endowed with feeling, sensitive.” Regardless of her body shape or size, your well-endowed wife is a finely-tuned machine — sensitive and nurturing and intuitive and feeling and powerful and delicate and complex.

She and her sexuality are a deep well. Simply put, without her yin, there’ll be no yang.

Conclusion

Every man becomes a detective the moment he says, “I do.” When wedding guests ask the groom, “Where will the two of you live?” he might as well answer “221b Baker Street.”

The chase didn’t end on your wedding day – it was just getting started!

Questions that Lead to Better Sex

● What hints has your wife been dropping lately?
● What clues has she been leaving?
● More importantly, what is she really trying to say?
● What does she need most from her husband right now – quality time, encouragement,
empathy, a little push?

Quote Worth Pondering 

● “When a women is silent, listen to her very carefully.” (Lilka)

 

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5 Steps to Survive Separation or Divorce

Sexual betrayal in a relationship causes a multitude of issues. There are couples who decide to separate for a period of time, in order to give space for healing.

This is totally normal and ok to do.

Many couples get back together after being separated.

Unfortunately, other marriages end in divorce.

Either way, I want to encourage you that you will get through this.

As a woman who has been betrayed by someone she loves, the devastation can be overwhelming.

There is a way to survive!

Here are the 5 steps you can try during this time:

1. Turn to God during this time and let it all out

Tell Him exactly how you feel. Go ahead, He can handle it. If you have never journaled, why not try now? Write your prayers out to Him.

2. Tell someone you trust what’s going on

This is not about having a gossip session or talking bad about the man who hurt you. This is about your heart and not walking through this alone. Ask for prayer and tell this person how you feel.

3. Read your Bible

Look through God’s Word for the many promises He has for you during this difficult time. What you need at just the time you need it will jump out at you.

4. Don’t let the negative thoughts consume you

Look for the positives in each day.

5. Find the Scriptures that define you

Let God tell you who you are to Him. One of my favorites is Ephesians 2:10.

I know all too well how life has to continue when you are dealing with this heavy emotional stuff. You have many duties as a wife and maybe a mom. You can’t just stay in bed all day, even if you’d really like to. Do what you have to each day. And know this, you are not alone!

If you haven’t already, get the Recover book from Amazon. The stories will inspire you and encourage you.

Also, if you are able to, join a Recover small group. There are women who have years behind them that would love to walk with you during this time.

I know you might be scared, but don’t be. You will make it through this. I promise.

 

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Don’t Get Caught Off Guard with Their Grieving

“John” came into the counseling office looking very despondent. “I don’t understand what happened this week,” he said. “’Jane’ had been doing so well and I have not seen her angry in more than a month. Then she just exploded. Crying, throwing things, cursing at me. I thought we were good. What happened?”

“John” is a recovering pornography addict who has been in therapy for nearly one year and his wife, “Jane,” is working on her own betrayal recovery. What “John” encountered is not unusual for a couple doing the intense work to get their marriage back on track.

“Jane” was going through another bout of grieving over the betrayal she experienced from “John’s” use of pornography during their marriage. What happened with “Jane” is simply part of the recovery process. Men tend to forget the average recovery time for a woman dealing with betrayal is 12-24 months.

Over the past month, “Jane” had been practicing self-soothing herself when she was feeling angry or sad as she thought about “John’s” actions. She was trying to reduce the amount of negativity she was experiencing when spending time with her husband.

There is nothing wrong with “Jane” trying to stay more positive around “John,” her only mistake was she should have told him what she was attempting to do. This would have helped set “John’s” expectations about her recovery.

But he also made mistakes.

Enjoying the stability of a peaceful home, “John” didn’t take opportunity to ask “Jane” how she was dealing with her recovery. If he had, she most likely would have shared her emotions, instead of holding them in.

His second error was mistaking “Jane’s” calm demeanor to indicate she was no longer emotionally or mentally troubled by his pornography addiction. As I tell my male clients, while your wife may be presenting a calm and peaceful appearance do not underestimate the amount of emotional distress that still lies under the surface.

x3-fighting-for-my-marriage-facebook-10A woman’s grieving is like ocean waves. There are periods in which they are large and powerful, and they can feel overwhelming. There are other times when they are smaller and seem calm. This can give off mixed messages and lead men to have a false impression everything is back to normal.

Wrong.

First, things are never going back to normal. She doesn’t want to return to the marriage you had. For her, the marriage is tainted and dirty. She wants to take the relationship in a new direction that brings a renewed sense of hope and healing. And you need to go there with her.

Second, she is looking for the “new guy.” Recently, a wife who was struggling to re-engage with her husband after nearly a year of recovery work, put it this way, “On one hand there is my husband who cheated on me with multiple women. On the other hand, is my husband who no longer cheats on me. So, tell me, what’s the difference between them?”

It is critical a partner understands the changes being made by the man in recovery. She needs to know there is something different about him that will enable him to guard her heart and make healthy decisions. And if you don’t explain to her how the “old guy” has changed, you are leaving her in the dark.

In order not to be blindsided like “John,” take the following three steps in working with your partner:

1. At least once a week, ask your spouse how she is doing with her recovery. If she simply says “ok”, follow up by asking what has happened that she is now feeling “ok.”

2. Make it a point to check in with your partner on a regular basis and share with her what you are learning in your recovery. More importantly, communicate how the insights you are learning are helping to change you to become the “new” guy.

3. Be fully aware of the time a woman needs to heal from betrayal and understand although at times she may seem calm and peaceful under the surface could still be a great deal of fear and emotional pain.

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4 Ways To Respond To Your Spouse’s Porn Problem

As an author and speaker about the inner thoughts and feelings of men, including the visual nature of men, I get a lot of questions from my audiences, like this very common one: “I just discovered my spouse is using porn and am devastated. What should I do?

My team and I always want to have answers, but since we are social researchers and not counselors, we interviewed Michael Todd Wilson to get his take on this. Michael Todd (MT) is a licensed professional counselor and a certified sex therapist who we highly respect. He gives counsel and advice to men and women all over the country on these topics, and we wanted to tap into his wisdom for a series of articles based on our interviews with him.

What follows is professional and practical advice for the person who has discovered their spouse using porn. For simplicity, we wrote from the viewpoint of a wife discovering her husband’s porn habit, as that is the majority of cases, but the same advice would apply if the roles are reversed.

This advice also assumes the spouses in question have a personal faith in God. We know not all readers will share that personal faith, but we unapologetically believe no one can do this on their own. If you find yourself in this situation, reach out to God and see that you can rely on Him for help in all areas of life – starting with your own difficulties right now.

And that is vital because as you will see, it is essential to ask God to give you the ability to respond well before you tackle this topic with your mate, to have not only good, firm boundaries, but also a healthy dose of the grace and compassion that is so important to a good outcome.

How on earth do you do that in such a hurtful situation? Read on.


From Michael Todd Wilson:

The first – and single most important – piece of advice I have for someone who discovers their spouse is struggling with sexual integrity is to avoid the almost irresistible urge to charge towards them with confrontation and aggression.

Yes, you will be angry. But venting anger isn’t going to lead your spouse to be an appropriately broken person who’s willing to walk the difficult journey ahead. Instead, it will close them off and trigger a denial response, such as “You’re crazy, I am not looking at porn.” (Or whatever sexual integrity problem he is dealing with.)

While there is a need to grieve the loss of what you thought you had in your marriage before discovering the infidelity, it’s not going to help to believe the worst about your spouse, either.

If your husband is a Christ-follower, he knows he is not where God wants him to be. And even if he isn’t, he probably has felt guilty about his porn use; otherwise he wouldn’t have been hiding it.

No matter what, it is almost certain that, despite his actions, he deeply cares about you.

There is a very important need and opportunity right now to encourage your spouse out of the shadows of porn or any sexual infidelity, and towards the light. Which is the only way healing will come.

Encourage him to get help rather than simply demanding he get help ‘or else.’

Sharing the truth that this is unacceptable, and that you need him to seek help for change, and doing it firmly but gently, could be the catalyst God uses to redeem your husband’s behavior and protect your marriage and family.

Here are four initial steps to take:

  1. Under no circumstances should you accept any responsibility for your spouse’s actions. Reject any impulse to feel you have caused your spouse to be unfaithful. However, just as you expect him to examine himself and do some hard work in his life, this is an opportunity for you, the offended spouse, to look inside and “own” whatever difficulties in the marriage may be on your side of the relationship. For example, I see that often (not always, but often), there has been marital conflict on both sides that has led to infrequent sex or sexual problems. Which is sometimes a contributing factor to a spouse’s pain. Again, though: These may be contributing factors, but how your spouse chooses to respond to these difficulties (by hookups or porn) is fully, one hundred percent, his responsibility.
  1. Be gentle in the way you approach your spouse. I know this will be extremely difficult, but at the outset, refrain from expressions of anger and try to see that your partner is hurting on the inside, whether he admits to such pain or not. You can share those feelings of anger with your spouse at some point when it’s more beneficial. Initially though, it’s most helpful to take this anger to God and press into Him. At first, discussions about what’s happening with your husband’s porn use should be limited to your most trusted one or two friends, preferably ones who aren’t family (sharing with family now will likely have unintended, detrimental consequences on that relationship later).
  1. Accept denial as a natural response of the spouse who is caught – i.e. “That porn website in the computer history wasn’t me – that was one of the kids.” Denial goes with the problem, and you may not be able to break it yourself. Pray for God to convict him and break through the denial. I have seen over and over again that the Holy Spirit will convict your spouse much more effectively than you ever could.
  1. Don’t believe the worst in your spouse. Your spouse is actually in pain. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing in the first place. (Porn use, believe it or not, is often a means of coping.) Offer empathy and encouragement to get help. If your spouse is ready, help him to take the next step to get help (such as finding a local ministry or men’s accountability group.) If not, give him space and pray until he is. It can be so hard to wait, but he truly has to be ready to get help; if he is only “getting help” because you insist, it is not likely you will see the true life change you both need.

If you feel that you have already “messed up” in how you approached your spouse initially, it’s simple enough to go back and confess. After all, this is exactly what you wish your partner would do with regard to his own sexual mess-ups. You can model the same humility in confession that you long to see from him.

So if you spewed your anger initially, you can go back and confess that, and apologize, even months later: “You know, when I first confronted you I did it in a way that caused more harm than good. I was scared, angry, hurt … I turned that into punishment. I’m really sorry.

All these steps will create a gentle but firm approach to make it easier for your spouse to move toward the light instead of running, hiding, denying or downplaying poor sexual choices.

 

Bio for Michael Todd Wilson
As a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Therapist and Board Certified Coach, MT leverages professional-grade coaching to help Christian men (especially men in Christian leadership) successfully recover and pursue sexual integrity. His specialized coaching is convenient from anywhere by phone or video conference. You can reach him at intentionalhearts.com.

 

 

 

 

 

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Some tips in getting a guy

Who does not wish to resemble or loved? Of course, everybody wants to be loved and be liked. Nevertheless, most ladies find it hard getting guys to like them. The fact is most women simply do not understand a guy’s habits. Earls Court escorts of https://charlotteaction.org/earls-court-escorts said that getting a guy like you is learning more about his behavior. It is only by understanding a man’s habits that a lady will get him to like her. Although men have different behavior, there prevail traits when it comes to being brought in to females. The tips you will learn will work for the majority of men so read thoroughly. Really, the tips are simple to follow. If in a way, the man you like is various you just have to make some modifications.

earls court escort

Do you notice how appeal pageant contestants smile? They smile a lot and they wear lovely, natural smile that will lure everyone that sees them. Smile can attract males and it helps you be friendlier. It removes that anti-social look in you. Smiling can help you be more visible to guys. If lots of men are around you it creates a challenge to every male to make a move. Have a look again at the beauty pageant contestants. Exactly what do you commonly see about their characteristics? If you want to learn how getting a guy like you works you need to discover the best ways to forecast self-confidence just as what these appeal pageant candidates do. Earls Court escorts tells that a positive woman is something that males generally search for. Females who are good at dressing up will more than likely get attraction from men. Frequently, a not so beautiful lady will get more men than someone so lovely who does not know the best ways to dress up correctly. Use hot clothes but preserve decency. Showing some skin helps a lot to get discovered by men.

Again, use charm pageant candidates as your role models. Do you see how they forecast positive mindset? You will see several pageants that have contestants who inadvertently find phase. See how they get up? They stand proud and with maintained poise. How do they do that? It is because they always preserve a favorable attitude. Earls Court escorts tells that getting a guy like you is not really a trick for numerous women understand about it. Like men, women are studying how a guy acts. Ladies are as compulsive as guys in desiring their opposite sex. Remember, exactly what counts most is your total personality. Use the tips you have just discovered and see how many men get attracted to you.

Searching for a partner online

Are you considering the idea of having a date on line? Are you worried that you might wind up fulfilling a scams? Do you would like to know ways to avoid rip-offs or phonies, which are prevalent when having a date on line? Nowadays with people living fast paced lives, even dating becomes tough to fit in everyone’s hectic schedule. Because of this circumstance many people find convenience of searching for a date on line. St Albans escorts of https://charlotteaction.org/st-albans-escorts says that the presence of different sites providing dating services has also affected the increase in popularity of this kind of dating. Nevertheless if you are planning to try this dating method, there are things that you should consider to guarantee your safety and success of discovering a partner. Here are the pointers on how you can meet the right partner through the date on line service used by various websites.

If you desire your possible partner to get a great idea about your personality then you should provide your web profile with the essential details. You should also remember that publishing genuine individual information will allow you to find a partner who will like you for who you truly are. If you are planning to go for a date on line then you should make certain that you are with a real dating website. Search for a dating website, which has an excellent feedback from its users so that you will be assured that you will not be a victim of a scam. When you have a genuine website to discover a match for you then you are on the right track in finding your future partner. St Albans escorts said that prior to you join any dating site, you need to be clear regarding exactly what relationship and partner you are looking for. This will give you an idea of what you are anticipating from the dating service that the site provides and will assist you to have a sensible expectation.

When you have actually discovered someone who matches your criteria, you should not satisfy the individual immediately. St Albans escorts tells that you must offer sufficient time to understand more about the person. It will likewise let you understand if the person is truly severe in pursuing a relationship with you. As soon as you sign up with a website that offers a date on line type of service, you must not expect that you will find the perfect match for you quickly. You can satisfy various people who possess the qualities you are looking for however it does not indicate that they are already the one destined for you. It might take at some point before discovering your true partner but you need to not lose hope. In discovering a partner who will belong of your life you must have a clear understanding of your goals. You ought to also understand the different issues that people experience like website frauds and scams identities. When you are knowledgeable about these things then you will have a safe and effective result.

Free Video Series and Private FB Group – Available Now

We have some pretty exciting news for you.

Here’s the thing, we have a lot of resources for individuals and couples who are struggling with porn use.

Some of these cost money because they fund the development of new resources and initiatives.

But at the end of the day, we want to help as many people as possible…

So when I can announce that we have a new free resource that I think is going to help a lot of men and women I GET EXCITED.

Here is what we have available right NOW and I think you are going to love it.

 

First, for the men struggling with porn and stuff. We have:

 

1. A free 3 part video series called “3 Things to Tell Your Wife About Your Pornography Habit.”

I know the idea of sharing your struggle with your wife might seem pretty scary. But it’s what we need to do and these videos will help you with that process.

2. A free private Facebook Group for men only.

In this group, you will be able to access the video series I just told you about plus share with and hear from 1,000’s of other men all on the same journey as you. Plus, we have leaders and staff in this group who will be jumping in and offering encouragement and advice.

 

Second, for the women married or involved with the men who struggle with porn and these types of things we have:

 

1. A free 3 part video series called “3 Ways to Help Your Husband Kick His Pornography Habit.”

Yes, it’s his problem. But, it’s also yours because it impacts you and your marriage. You probably already know this but at times feel helpless because you don’t know what to do or how to help him. These videos will give you some clear guidance and help.

2. A free private Facebook Group for women only.

In this group, you will be able to access the video series I just told you about plus share with and hear from 1,000’s of other women all in the same situation as you. Plus, we have leaders and staff in this group who will be jumping in and offering encouragement and advice.
Sound good?

I hope so.

So here’s what you need to do to learn more about these free videos and get access to the private groups.

1. Click HERE.

2. Request Access.

3. Wait for your Private Invitation code to arrive in your email.

That’s it. Let us know what you think.

 

 

 

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One-Sided​ ​Conversations​

In my marriage, I volunteered to do lots of things that I never did. Not in a timely fashion, at least.

HER: “We need to make an appointment with our tax guy.”
ME: “I’ll call him this week.”

HER: “One of our sprinkler heads is broken, and the grass in our front yard is turning brown.”
ME: “No problem. I’ll replace it this weekend.”

HER: “Can you help me upload the photos on my camera to the cloud? I can’t figure it out.”
ME: “Sure. Just leave your camera on my dresser and I’ll take care of it for you.”

If you’ve been married more than a month, you know what’s coming next.
The question.

Oh, it might not come for a week or two, but it’s coming.

“Did you call our tax guy?”
“Did you fix the sprinkler?”
“Can I have my camera back?”

Far too often, instead of owning it like a man, I stuttered and stammered my way into deeper
doo-doo.

“Uhhh, let me think … tax guy … did I make that call? Hmmm. I remember I was going to. Oh
wait, that’s right, I was about to call him and set up our appointment when I got called into a
meeting. Crap! I’ll do it this week.”

“This week?! It should have been done months ago. Why didn’t you call him last week like you
said you would?! Aauuugh!”

“I didn’t have time.”

[Sound of my parachute not opening]

Here’s what “I didn’t have time” really means and what every frustrated woman hears in that
moment:

x3-fighting-for-my-marriage-facebook-10“I don’t really care that you lose sleep at night worrying about our taxes. I don’t really care that our front yard is ugly and embarrasses you. I don’t really care that you’re stressed out and fearful we might lose the family photos from our summer vacation. What matters to you doesn’t matter to me. You don’t matter to me. I have lots of priorities, but you’re not one of them. There are important people in my life, but you’re not one of them. You’re practically last in line!”

Instead, when you volunteer to do something, write it down. Schedule it. Prioritize it.

Prioritize HER.

That’s always what this is about.

Better yet, anticipate her needs and take charge. From “Better Sex Guarantee #1” (Chapter 5 of
my book, Wife Magnet):

“Intimate and lasting marriages are forged when we anticipate the day-to-day needs of our
wives and spring into action before we’re asked.”

YOU: “I saw tax forms on your desk the other day, and I know how much you hate it when we
fall behind. I called our accountant this morning. Our appointment is next Tuesday at 4:00 PM.
Is there anything else we need for that meeting? Bank statements? W-2’s?”

YOU: “I keep meaning to fix that broken sprinkler head, but weekends have been so busy since
Little League started. It’s my only time with the boys. The good news is I found a handyman who
can do it this Saturday for only $50. I know you’re tired of our front yard looking so ugly.”

YOU: “You were having trouble uploading photos from your camera, right? I went ahead and
created a new Dropbox folder called ‘Summer Vacation 2017’ and uploaded all those great
pictures you took. I also changed the settings on your camera, so whenever you connect it to
your laptop, any new photos will upload automatically to the cloud. You’ll never have to worry
about losing photos ever again! I tested it and it works great. I can show you right now if you
have a minute.”

I’m guessing, but you might need more than a minute. Especially if her laptop is in the bedroom.
Trust me, you’ll learn to LOVE these one-sided conversations.

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