“Can I Kill Myself With A .22?” (Warning: Graphic)

xxxchurch - -Can I Kill Myself With A .22-- (Warning- Graphic) (2)One of the major questions I’m constantly asking is: how can I help people see the reality of what pornography is doing to them before it’s too late?

Sometimes, I think that even harder than convincing someone who loves pornography to hate it, is convincing someone indifferent to it that they need to be concerned.

I’ll let this letter speak for itself but I want to encourage you that if you’ve come this far thinking that pornography is no big deal, I’d implore you to think again. That’s not a threat – it’s me, begging.

Or, if you find yourself at a place in life where you’re realizing just how big of a deal it is, don’t give up. Help is real – hope is real – and you don’t have to stay there.

After reading this letter take the 1st step toward freedom and hope today by watching these 3 FREE videos.

As a former youth pastor who is now managing a store in a high stress environment, I have been looking at a ton of porn.

I’ve been drinking outrageous amounts of alcohol but my wife is hours away with the kids while I live in a crappy one-bedroom apartment.  

Temptation has turned into a daily habit.

Come home, fix way too strong a drink, go to my typical websites, get off, feel terrible, look over at the books I should be reading that I brought with me, rinse, repeat.

I recently heard My Pilgrimage authors, Seth Taylor and his brother, on my favorite podcast. I listened to what this guy was saying, mind blown. I thought, “Man, if this guy is serious, I’ll buy in.”  

I know it isn’t just porn for me.

I’ll die early (like everyone has told me since I turned 21) because of the amount of alcohol I consume on the daily.  

I bought the audiobook before the podcast ended, which finally got me to pray for the second time since moving here six months ago.

The last time I prayed I was face down in my stand up shower (an impressive feat for such a big dude), curled into a ball, drunk, asking God, “Why am I here? Are you even real? Do you give a crap about me at all? Is my wife cheating on me? Am I just like my father?”

The other night, I prayed for so long, meditating, searching my soul for these wounds I carry every day while I’m at work, I keep thinking to myself, “What are they?”

What are the wounds that I’m medicating so heavily that I can’t stop trying to kill myself with alcohol?

What is inside of me that forced me to actually Google:

“Can a .22 kill a man?”

I’m not fixed, I’m not porn-free, I’m not even fully sober. I will tell you though – I have only looked at porn twice since last Thursday and I’ve been drunk a considerable amount less, in quantity and quality. For a guy who used to masturbate four or five times a day while he watched his marriage and sex life with his wife fall apart – a guy who drank a half gallon of whiskey every two days – it feels like a miracle.  

I can’t explain everything going on in me right now, I can’t even explain my morning prayers and thoughts I have while I sit in my truck and wait for the windshield to defrost instead of opting for a morning cigarette. It is borderline insane to me that I can walk like this, feel like this, still even be doing what I’ve been doing, but to be able to watch it slowly die?  

Yeah I still desire some things, but this… it’s… free.  

It’s turned into something I just kind of want at moments instead of a driving force that I must have and fulfill the second I walk through my apartment door.

I’m not entirely sure what is at the end of this book or even this path that I’m on, but I have to say this may be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen step foot out of your ministry.

It changed and is changing my life. I can’t express my gratitude enough, I’ve tried everything and nothing could stop the monster I felt I had become.  

This is truly revolutionary and I am so thankful for the book, the message and the group of you guys out there right now that aren’t living in the “under a rock” mentality and ignoring real issues that real people are having.  

Even if this doesn’t reach you personally, even if I’m one of a thousand people that emails you and tells you how amazing this really is, I hope whoever gets this on your behalf just tells you and Seth, “Thanks, man.”  

Thanks for a new outlook, thanks for at least a little less cloud and depression and confusion… I wish I could think of something better to say than just thanks, but there really aren’t words for this freedom…”


Pilgrimage-logo-zoomTired of feeling like freedom from pornography or sex addiction is impossible? That it’s an endless “battle?” Check out MyPilgrimage.com and discover that freedom from addiction is possible and something you can really experience.

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